Yesterday I got to go out with my mom without my kids. We chilled and got pedicures. Our toes have matching flowers. LOL.  Corny, but cute and we had a great time. This years Mother’s Day is very awesome.

I haven’t finished the love dare, could you guess? Things are going back and forth, as they always do.

DH has decided to start a couple of gaming groups through our home. Right now there is only one going on, but he’s trying to plan another. He also runs and online one about once or twice a week. It takes time away from us, from me. But he does really enjoy it. I can’t complain too much, he does encourage me to go out with friends and such. He doesn’t gripe when I ask him to watch the girls. I really do appreciate that. So I try not to complain too much when I wanted to watch a movie with him, and he’s passed out. LOL.

I’m going to be taking an EMT course in Aug. I’m not exactly sure how this is all going to work out. I’m hoping that we won’t have to get somebody else to watch the kids, but who knows. A couple of friends are supposed to take the course as well, but we’ll see. I’m just worried about getting hired on afterwards. I want to be a SAHM but we can use the money. That and I do go nuts staying at home all the time. Maybe if Iwear myself out at work, I won’t be so eager to go shopping or something. LOL.

Our girls are getting bigger. Crazy, I know! R is 6 now. WOW. Six. She is reading smaller words, and working on sounding them out. She has a loose tooth. The dentist mentioned it being gone in a few months and the next one a few months after that. Oh boy. Another rite of passage. Soon she’ll be chatting on the phone, hitting pueberty, and stinking up the house with girly smelly stuff. She already has the attitude to match, it’s just a matter of time. I love her greatly.

J will be 3 soon. Reminds me that I need to plan her party now….. She loves to antaganize her sister over the littlest things. Drives me nuts. She’s all talk and is pretty clear. She’s learning so much from her sister. She’s also my baby so that means she gets away with a lot of things.

In general, we’ve been doing pretty good. We’re liking where we’re at and our roots are spreading. Sure we had some roots where we grew up, but we never spread them at the last placed we lived. Now we’ve got our friendship circle expanding and participating more in the community. Life it good.

So if Ican’t do my things today with a smile, does that mean I have to keep doing that day until I do it right?

Day 11 is Love Cherishes. It says, ” What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.

I have been out all day. And no, I haven’t done it all with a smile. Though I wasn’t really grumpy until just now. Ok, confession time, I just read todays. I didn’t read it this morning, so it should be for tomorrow. Maybe I’ll do the housework with a smile…. and pack and wrap gifts. Oh, and decorate the tree. Yeah, I’m grumpy right now.

I’m not really totally mad at my DH right now, though I have been snappy. It’s the kind of comments that I should refrain from, and that even though I say I’m doing it to prevent a blow out, it’s really asking for one. I’m really tired now, and my knees hurt. Any logical person can easily figure out that when we’re in pain, it’s easier to snap. So now I’m snappier. Fun.

I was just about to put a big paragraph (even started it) about one of the things that ticked me off, though I’m sure I could have been angrier. Then I realized that it’s just feeding my anger. Sure I’m upset, but if I dwell in it, it’ll only make it worse. Part of me doesn’t want to belive that right now. I want to vent. But if I do that, I’ll probably really snap at him and not make anything better at all.

So love cherishes. It’s starting to get frustrating in a way. Sarah, I think you know what I mean. But it also makes sense.

My husband is a wonderful man. Although he may not be as attentive, or charasmatic and I would like, I love him regardless. He loves me. He shows it by working his butt off for me and the girls. He’s also patient with me. Which is why we’ve probably stayed together for so long.

Yeah, BTW, today I was to think of a specific way I’d like to greet my spouse. I was to do it with a smile and enthusiasm. Then to be determined to change my greeting to reflect my love for him.

Some days, I know I’m in a foul mood. But generally, I’m happy he’s home. If my hands aren’t being taken up something else, I’ll go up and give him a kiss, hug if he’ll let me (sometimes the work he does doesn’t allow for close contact right away) and ask how his day went. How I can improve on that? Make sure I do it every day. Make that my priority when he comes home. If I’m doing dishes, don’t just ask how he’s doing, dry my hands and go to him. I normally do that, and sometimes he just wants to come home and have a few moments before dealing with anything else. So I should respect that, and make sure he knows he’s loved and thought about when the time is right. He should not have to come home to a hostile environment. There’s how I can make it better.

This was a little difficult for me to try to come up with something that he did more than normal.  I had already shared with him how well his game went. I was thoroughly impressed.  I did come up with SOMETHING, but I felt kinda silly because it was quite a few months ago. Normally it’s day to day and I’m not really jealous of his things. Or if I am, I let him know. Wait, am I missing a point?

So I had been trying really hard to think of something that I was jealous of. I couldn’t think of anything. And then it happened. I hadn’t really thought I was jealous of it before, but after thinking about it for a while, I realized I was. Maybe it doesn’t count, maybe it does. The point is I can’t get over the fact that he gets this and I don’t. Sorry, this one is a little too personal to post online. It is silly and I should get over it. Or find of way of working with him on it so that I feel like I get to do it too. But if you were to ask me to say to him that I’m glad he gets to do this, or has success in it, I don’th think I can.  Or, I don’t think I can without still feeling a little resentment.  This is going to be my tough one when I thought it didn’t really apply.

I did write in my journal off computer. I’m not going to write all that on here… sorry.  It’s going to be an interesting journey. Hope and pray I make it through and get as much out of it as I can.  I better go and read the next day.

Day 7. Oh man! This, so far, has been my favorite one, though very trying. A few months back I realized I was feeling really negative with Drew. I knew it was me, but I couldn’t get out of the funk. I even asked myself why I even married him. So I started a blog to write all the silly things that I loved about him. Example, he’s a geek. A total geek. It does get aggravating when I want to spend time with him and he’s trying to do his hobby. But that’s the man I married. I knew that when we were dating. So I twisted it and reminded myself that it’s one of the things we did when we were dating. It worked.

So day 7 is about not dwelling the the “Depreciation room” and spending more time in the “Appreciation room”. The book mentions that it’s one of the reasons for divorce. We forget what we fell in love with in the first place. When we’re first dating, new love, it’s easy to remember because we’re thinking of that person all the time! Then you get into a routine, you can’t spend all that time with, or thinking about, them. It’s easy to forget what it felt like. It asked to write the positive things about your spouse. Yes, it was tough to come up with some, but it’s really great to remember the man you married. Then it also asked you to write the negatives. I wrote those first though so I could be thinking positive when I finished. LOL. The book then said to call your spouse and thank them for one of the positive things. I called Drew and said thank you for morning kiss he gives me before going to work. Yeah, he thinks I’m a goofball. Now I’m to hide the sheets I wrote the positive and negative on for a later date. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

I haven’t completely completed a couple of tasks mainly because it would upset Drew if I did. Like, we’re supposed to be tighter on money right now. Even so I keep spending when I probably shouldn’t. So when I’m asked to BUY him something, it’s really hard because he may get upset. I did get food (food is the key to his heart) and I have little love cards that I’ve stocked up on. Other than that, I’ve been working on making sure I don’t snap at him for little thing (or even big things). I think he’s started to notice. Yesterdays task was to ask him 3 things that make him uncomfortable or irritated with me. It was tough for him because I had been on better behavior. He eventually came up with 3 (I’m sure he could come up with more) and I must say, I wasn’t too surprised. It was areas that I felt I needed to work on anyways.

I really do recommend taking the Dare! But if you do, remember that it isn’t an attack on you. I have to keep reminding myself that. That’s the only way I was able to listen to what he had to say without snapping back and yelling at him. I even had to say to him that I wasn’t asking him to start an argument, but to better myself as a wife. He was worried that I was going to get angry at him. There’s no attacking here. There’s realizing that I have a problem, and I’m working on fixing it. Feeling guilty over my problem isn’t going to help my marriage. Realizing I have a problem, and working on fixing that problem will. I’m sure that I will goof up majorly. But the point is to forgive myself and start again fresh. Makes sense?

I’ll read through day 2 tonight. He’s home tomorrow so I can really start working on the challenge.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. If anybody else is taking the challenge or just needs some uplifting, I’ll keep you in my prayers too.